Thoughts when not feeling well

As an educator with a few differences that might be called “disabilities,” I think a lot about continuing my work from this side of the desk as well as from the student side of the desk. I could have gone on disability many years ago, and chose not to. I believed that I would be able to work within my institution and manage my job and life.

Sometimes it has worked, and sometimes it hasn’t. This week, it isn’t working.

I have missed three days teaching, due to a cold, exacerbated by diabetes and weak lungs. I am making the difficult decision about attending AUCD in Washington, DC, a highlight of my year. I am feeling guilty about possibly not going, because the wonderful Lu Zeph has paid my way, and the wonderful Valerie Smith would have to present on Universal Design without me.

But I couldn’t breathe last night, and I just don’t get better the way others do – again. And I am getting older and just don’t have the energy to travel with my C-PAP, my prosthetic knees, and my documentation. To be at the airport by 4:00 AM, by cab, since I don’t drive, which means I will not sleep. To have everything in place for my companion animals and their caregivers. Sometimes these things can be obstacles, no matter how hard I try.

I worry about letting down my students; I am grateful for online teaching because I can do it as I have energy, and am awake.

I know I have a lot to offer, and certainly will continue going forward. This is not about self-pity or about looking for sympathy. It is about a reality that I, as a dedicated and persistent educator face, that sometimes confronts me more intensely than others.

Regime change

ok, so now that we’ve voted, what’s next for education and access to education? What is new or next for access to Higher Ed, when the financial picture seems to be limiting access and choice? Does universal access imply a change in the way we finance Higher Ed? This has always been a major barrier to inclusion. I have to wonder how the new GI Bill, in concert with the ADA, might be a way of changing the dialogue and practice of inclusion here in the US.